Today I’ve been thinking about how we all need human connections. I also want to acknowledge that some of us, in our early childhood, we experienced a lot of low self-esteem, because of a lack of those human connection.
Maybe part of our coping skills was to be super nice to other people in order to ensure that we mattered. Other times some of us would never allow ourselves to express healthy anger. Still, others of us didn’t know how to say no, and we would take on too much, and that created a lot of stress in our bodies. Then, we find it’s difficult to express what our emotions are. You may find that your body says, “No.” because you weren’t able to say no. You find yourself emotionally isolated from others, not knowing how to bridge that gap, how to have those human connections that your body craves and your soul needs.
You know, on my journey, I have discovered that it is possible to live your life and like yourself. Not only can you like yourself, you can enjoy other people. As you journey through this life of healing, you discover that you really do matter, and that is mirrored to you in the relationships you have with other humans and animals.
It’s possible to develop your capacity to honestly express your truth with authenticity. There is something about speaking with authenticity that is so incredibly empowering, for all of us.
It’s also possible to be clear around what your priorities are, beginning with yourself. To prioritize your own health and well-being first, and that will support you to be available to support others. Part of that path is also communicating how you feel and doing so with confidence. Because no one knows you better than you. Then, you’ll discover, just like I have, it’s possible to create and build enduring relationships for the rest of your life.
How do I know this is possible? Because this is my life. This is the path that I’ve come down and why I’m on the path I’m on right now. So, when I’m uncertain, I reach out and I ask for some help. There is no shame in that. I take the time I need to make decisions, in order to be in full choice. With a full yes, or a full no. Because my voice does matter in this world. The way I show up, it influences others. Especially my children and loved one. I want to be showing up authentically and sincerely, so they have that model for their lives to pay forward too.
I do this because I know my emotions make sense. All the frequencies of emotions, every single one of them matters. When we get distortions in our perceptions, we make some of them bad and wrong, and others to be the best, ever, and they all matter. It’s important to go down this path to learn that they all make sense. Part of that, then, is learning how to listen to your own body’s wisdom. When your body contracts or withdraws, to slow down and be with it, because life is really for you.
Life can only seem to be against you, when you are being somebody you are not. So how do you step in to being fully who you are?
There are a few different skills sets that would be helpful for you. The first that I recommend highly is to develop your awareness of your body sensations. Then, to develop a language to be able to articulate them, to name them as well as your emotions and the beautiful values and needs that underlie everything that you do.
The second step might be a little more challenging for some of us, yet important, is to reach out and develop a relationship with another person where you can practice communicating in this way. Where it’s safe to talk about how you are feeling, and the sensations in your body, what those emotions might be and what you are needing. To have that reflected back with kindness and warmth.
I highly recommend that you take time to follow through with journaling about this, if you are willing to take those next steps, and start to develop your awareness of body sensations, and have a language to name what you are feeling. To name what you value. To write it down so you can look back and see on this path where you’ve been and where you are going and how far you have come, to get that acknowledgment.
And then, reach out and connect daily with another person. To practice empathizing with one another.