After a cold spell I notice how the warmth that radiates out from our sun truly nurtures our world, it nurtures LIFE, and that’s so important. I’ve been thinking about how that is so important for healing of any kind to happen. To make repairs in relationships with others and within ourselves. Warmth.
I had a client ask me, “How do you invite accompaniment? What does that even look like?”
To me accompaniment is warmth, and it is gentleness. You invite a connection within the relationship, which means the relationship has permission to accept your invitation or not. That creates the safety that is needed for trust to grow.
So many times, people in this world haven’t been given choice. Their life experience was mapped out for them and there is only DOOR #1. They didn’t know that in life there are also DOORS #2, #3, #4, #5, or even more! That is an UNKNOWN factor in life. Out of the need to survive in this world or even to exist, they make any choices only out of door number one.
When we are accompanied in life, and our experience is acknowledged around what it’s like for us to only have Door #1 available, we can receive resonance with how it feels to live in such a narrow world. It can feel restrictive. To allow someone into your world takes courage. It takes courage to actually LET THEM IN.
When you can only see one door, you are probably thinking you are the only one having that experience as well. Because you are not letting anyone else in. it hasn’t felt safe to let anyone else in or to have those conversations. That’s been my past experience.
When I believe I’m the only one having this experience, then I also have other “STORIES” going on in the background of my mind about what other peoples experience is in life. I’m comparing my experience to their experience, and guess whose experience I judged as “NOT SO GREAT”? You got it. That’s me.
That is a painful world to live in, I know, I lived there a long, long time! I needed to find the COURAGE to DIG DEEP into MY HEART AND SOUL, to get clear about WHAT DID I REALLY WANT?! Then I wondered, “If that’s what I’m wanting, why aren’t I having that experience?” I shouted out to the heavens, “Why am I not having that experience? I don’t understand! I don’t get it! Somebody HELP ME!”
Out of that CRY FOR HELP, I actually started to change my world! It was AMAZING! All of a sudden, I began to notice things I’d never noticed before. “Wow” I thought, “That’s possible?” Followed quickly by, “OMG, I’m not sure how to do THAT.” So again, another cry for help, “How do we DO THIS THING? I don’t know how to do this thing, yet I WANT to KNOW HOW to do this thing!”
So, then I needed to develop the COURAGE to EXPRESS MY TRUTH. To be HONEST. To name it, so someone could HEAR ME. Sometimes when we are in that kind of pain, we think, “I wish someone would pick up on my thoughts, so I wouldn’t have to say anything. I don’t want to say anything because then everyone’s going to look at me. I don’t want everyone to look at me because then I wouldn’t know what to do. Or they might KNOW I don’t know what to do and that’s just unthinkable.”
In the background of my mind I always believed I was SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT TO DO!
THAT IS NOT TRUE!
Being willing to show up transparently makes it possible for me to come out, to be in nature, to see the sky, to feel the warm sunshine, and to speak to you from my heart of hearts. Because that’s what I am all about.
When we can get to where we can step through that first door, then we can see there ARE OTHER DOORS! There’s an excitement that happens inside. For me it felt light and spacious. I had a sense of relaxation and freedom I’d never known before! I was blown away, “THIS IS WHAT LIFE CAN BE LIKE!”
Then it hit me, I realized, “I DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT! How do you be in relationship with others like that? That feels kind of scary, I mean, do you actually TALK TO PEOPLE? You tell them what you are really feeling? You own your own needs and values? You’re TRANSPARENT?”
Right there – I needed THAT ASPECT OF MY EXPERIENCE TO BE CAUGHT – in order to DICOVER – others have that experience too! Unless I’m willing to be open-hearted in my life, and check in with other people, and allow other people to check in with me. I won’t know what is possible. I will just stay small, and outside of DOOR #1.
There are so many doors that are available to you when you are willing to allow yourself to live your life on purpose. Whatever that looks like for you. That’s perfect.
I big part of why I’m on this #JOURNEY is because I love language. I love how words can capture experiences, and how when you link them together, they can become so exquisitely beautiful. Other times, when you carefully and gently stick the words together to create a phrase, there’s a music that can come out, and sometimes the music stimulates your heart to ache as the energies of grief, mourning or sadness moves through you. Yet, when yourself to FEEL IT FULLY, to BE in your experience, something happens AT A CELLULAR LEVEL that is PROFOUND and WORTH IT!
I’m allowing myself to BRING MY ENERGY UP to SHOUT FROM THE ROOFTOPS because this is POSSIBLE folks. It is equally possible to slow it way down, to use very gentle words, to hold the space with so much care, and lots of spaciousness. With pregnant pauses in-between because it’s so tender.
When we can develop our capacity to tune into the energy that is HERE, right now, to meet it, AUTHENTICALLY, open-heartedly. There is MAGIC in that moment. Creating those containers where it’s safe to show up, however you are, to be met right there and discover YOU ARE NOT ALONE. To discover there is support to begin a new practice.
What would that look like? First, I’d need to NOTICE that I’m telling myself there is only ONE DOOR in my world and recognize it as a LIMITING BELIEF that narrows my vision. Or that I’m telling myself that I’m all alone, nobody gets me, nobody else has this problem. Everybody else can do everything I’ve never been able to do.
Instead of that, how about stepping out and LIVING LARGE! At the same time, it’s possible to be with parts that feel really little and they can be met with gentleness. I love all of those energies.
When we can begin to see that IT’S POSSIBLE TO BE COURAGEOUS. It’s possible to allow ourselves to be as quiet and gentle as we need or as BIG and EXPANSIVE as we need. It is ALL POSSIBLE! We could do something somewhere in between.
Why not! When we get to DOOR NUMBER TWO I imagine there will be somebody at that door, or a version of that door that can accompany you there too. You don’t have to journey alone.
It is never too late to grow, to expand, to step fully into your dreams. Step fully into your life and allow your truth to be heard and felt by others. Grow your community.
Are you at DOOR NUMBER ONE? Start to look around and SEE where you are. HEAR what you are telling yourself. Challenge those beliefs. Start to experiment with speaking up. Be selective and choose who you will speak up to. Practice noticing when you make choices, are you in FULL CHOICE? Notice what you would most enjoy and experiment with taking a step in that direction.